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another farewell

Today, we celebrated farewell for Julie that rolling off from the project and Chen Chow that leaving the company. This is my third farewell party in these weeks. Never knew that attending this kind of events leave my heart ache. Drop and drop of tears rolling down from my eyes without I realizing it.

It reminded me, how bad or unwelcome I am because of what happened on my farewell. I still remember clearly that it supposed to be my farewell but ended no one actually really care if I am there or not nor no one actually care asking me things or how am I doing or some speeches like most people did. No one come taking pictures with me as like what happened in the other people farewell.

Looking at those people around me that leaving happily and still contacting each other make me feel worst. Am I really that bad huh ? Does everyone hate me so much?

For this guy farewell he was given a watch that cost 1/4 of my salary … I felt so jealous. What will I get when I leave? A pool of tears from my eyes maybe?

Looking at the other girl farewell card that full of writing make me felt worst…and immediately when I reached home, I searched my whole room for the one I got. Am I really someone like to compare so badly? I saw she had a full card written with words and I can’t help to check if mind that full… apparently it is… *sob* *sob* and it just with some thank you words to decorate the cards rather than meaningful things that come from someone heart.

Am I really not good enough?

posted by @my T@nG @ 12:23 AM